Sierra's View: Vulnerability.

BlogHer Header

Monday, November 12, 2012


I know this is long.
But I PROMISE it is worth every minute.
This is so perfect.

I am just lying here with a fever, migraine, nausea, and an awful sore throat.
So, this is what you get today.
And believe me, you will thank me for this.

Favorite Quotes:

The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.

The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection...

They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.

The problem is -- and I learned this from the research -- that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. (Laughter) I don't want to feel these.

You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." That's our job. 

I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive. And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough," then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.


Come stalk me other places, k?

And don't forget to follow me on this blog, too.
Duh. :)

I have yet to begin my technical sponsorship 1) because I do not have the time to start that right now 2) I sort of hate the blogging world right now. #cycnicalcindyoverhere
With that being said--if we have similar blogs, I would love to do a button swap! Just leave a comment and/or email and me and lets do a switch-a-roo! 


  1. Her book "The Gifts of Imperfection" changed my life. I went out and bought four copies and gave them away to friends and family. So awesome.

  2. Love it. So many great quotes. She has such a strong, valid point. Hope you make it to the next blogger gathering! I'd love to meet you! I've been feeling a bit under the weather too. Hate cold season.

    1. Following you :) wanna follow back?

  3. I want to swap! and I liked your FB page and I just signed up for twitter (no lie) and have no idea what I'm doing but I followed you!

  4. hey girl! I gave you an award (:

  5. love it! hope you're feeling better soon!

  6. I seriously looooove TED talks and THIS is one of my favourites :)


Leave some love!