|This photo doesn't really have much to do with the story except that it a) is up at my cabin where this story (kind of ) takes place b) this story talks about bodily functions and bodies so it (kind of) works and c) it's funny.|
I have a whole list of posts that I need/want to write. I leave to head back to Salt Lake City. I leave again Friday for Jackson Hole, Wyoming for the weekend. Then I come back and it's "Back to School" time since school starts in two weeks. YIKES. Where did my summer go? I have been gone for about 2 weeks on a fantastic trip! And although I am ready to go back home and sleep in my own bed, I am really dreading going back to reality. This reality encompasses any emails, blogging, etc. so please forgive me if I have neglected your emails or if you feel like this blog has been MIA. It's just that…yea, I don't want to go back to reality (have I mentioned that already? ;) )
It's been awhile since I have told you a story 'round these parts. So, I'm going to do just that. Grab your Diet Coke and take a seat. This one may have you peeing your pants. Literally.
Well, you see, T Money decided to get injured (big shocker there) while my family was at our cabin in Oregon (more on that later--my favorite place in the world). Yet, the closest Urgent Care was an hour and fifteen minutes away. I was already exhausted. There were 8 little nieces and nephews running around the cabin; 19 people in all. Yes, that's how big my family is. Are we Mormon or what? But, a woman's gotta take care of her man, ya know? So, we hopped in the car to figure out why Tanner was in so much agony. I could not even keep me eyes open. So I drank a Coke. We arrived in Eugene and found out that he had a Stress Fracture in his foot so he now has a bionic boot on his leg that is freaking awesome, if I do say so myself. Anywho. I had to prep myself on the drive back to the cabin because I was already exhausted. So I had another large Dr. Pepper.
It's about 10 pm as we are driving through the mountains. And I feel the urge to use the bathroom (don't worry--#1 only. TMI? Oh, just get ready. This entire story is TMI).
Now, I don't know if any of you drink soda but when you drink that much (I know, I know, I shouldn't be drinking that much. Sue me) it goes right through you and your urge to pee is quite, well, sudden.
I closed my legs and say out loud, "Uh oh. It's time. I have to pee. Like. Right. Now."
T: Well you're going to have to hold it because we are in the mountains right now.
Me: "No, you don't understand. I am literally going to pee my pants."
T: "I don't know what to tell you."
I pull over to the side of the road. I then realized that I was in a dress and a one piece swimsuit. So I completely throw off my dress, take my swimsuit completely off (see I told you…TMI), pull open the passenger seat door and the back seat door and just go. Right there. Squatted down in the complete nude and relieve myself. It was dark, but cars had their brights on driving through so I am pretty sure that they saw some fun stuff, but I didn't even care. I was laughing so hard I, well, peed.
Anywho. I think I was deliriously tired because I could not stop laughing for 20 minutes after that.
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Am I right?
Let's just say this isn't the first time I have had to do that. (Spring Break San Francisco, anyone?)
Apparently, I have no shame. But I think we all knew that.
The point of this story? There isn't one. But just wanted to expose my true self to you all (hardy har har).