(Watch me have 5 boys, too. Ha.)
|Thats me. As a youngin. White hair and cheeks. Oh man, and that elbow.|
My Dear Daughter,
As I was driving in my car today, I thought about all of my insecurities. Yes, I am a grown woman and I was thinking of all the insecurities that I still have. Because, even though I think of myself as a pretty secure, confident, and brave woman, I still have issues with myself, unfortunately. I wish I could say I didn't, but that's not true. Because I am not perfect. I try my hardest to be the best person possible, but I am by no means perfect. And although this may seem hard to believe, I am human. I make many mistakes. And you know what, that's okay. I want you to know that it's okay to have insecurities. That it's okay to not be perfect. That's part of living this life. However, I don't want that to deter you from still being a successful, confident woman.
I wrote this before you were born. I wrote this before I even knew you were going to exist in my life. I did this for a couple of reasons 1) So that I can look back on this and remember. 2) So that you can see a little bit into the "young" version of my writing. 3) How cool to think of a future child and what I would want to say to her (you!)
There are a few things that I want you to remember; a few things that I personally value that I think are important to your wellbeing, growth, health, and happiness.
1. You are beautiful.
You may not be as beautiful as that girl you sit next to in class, you may be cursed with the Kuykendall woman's legs (you can blame your great grandmother for those bad boys) or you may not have the best hair (which, to be honest, I may be kind of shocked if thats the case. Your father and I have pretty damn…dang…. good hair). But that doesn't mean you are not beautiful. Each person has a specific beauty to them. It can be seen in their eyes, in their beautiful skin, etc.
2. Always remember to make your bed.
Nona used to say that to me every morning. And it drove me nuts. But, you know what, she's right. (Yes, mother, I just admitted that you were right! Ha). Because, what I have noticed about making your bed is this: it makes the entire room look so much nicer. Sometimes, I even make my bed to lay in it. Okay, so maybe I am a little OCD, but I do think it adds so much to the cleanliness. And I can't get anything done in a messy house. It has to be clean before I start blogging, writing, or working. Along with this, I would add, "Always put something away in exactly the same spot if you get it out."
3. Don't let what others say about you determine your self worth.
There will always be people who don't like you. And I don't say that to mean, but I say that so you know that you can't please everyone. You have so many gifts and talents and you can accomplish so much. There will always be people who try to discourage you, but you know what, (and yes, this is your mother speaking…) screw them. You can't make everyone around you happy all of the time. You do what you feel is best and you will thrive.
4. You are loved. Always.
If you decide that you want to live your life differently than me, if you decide that you want to pursue something that I forgot to encourage you to do. As long as you are making legal, smart decisions, I will love you. I will love you no matter what. That is not even an option. My love for you is not conditional, it is constant. Take that love and magnify it by a million. And that is how much the Lord loves you. And His love is perfect. He loves you through your mistakes and faults.
5. Do not let social media take over your life.
You live in a world with social media beaming at you from very beck and call. I am currently almost 24 years old and I feel the weight of social media, the obsession even, in my own life. I can only imagine what your world is like. Please do not forget
6. Always remember to talk about your feelings.
It's hard. I know. And you need to pick and choose who to express these feelings to. You can't just go around and tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets. But make sure that you can analyze how you feeling, and maybe stop and think about WHY you feel that way. There is always a bigger meaning for your feelings--sometimes it takes deep introspection to recognize and figure it out.
7. I am your mother first and your friend second.
I will encourage, support and love you. I want to hang out with you. I want to go shopping and do girly things with you. I want to be your best friend. But, more important, I am your guardian. I will correct you if you do things wrong, I will scold you and discipline you. This doesn't mean I don't love you. I give you rules so you know boundaries. I guide you because I love you.
8. Form your own opinions.
There will be people all over pushing you to believe one thing or another. Whether thats church or friends or us or school or random people on the Internet. You find what you believe in. You make those decisions and be confident in that.
9. Get a college degree.
I will do everything to support you in getting your education. But I want you to go after something you love and something that is practical. I want you to be an intelligent, successful woman who will offer something to the world. Use common sense. Research. Use your brain. Read. A woman who acts dumb is never attractive.
10. Be willing to try anything; be a well rounded person.
I have this fear of doing stuff when I'm not good at it. For example, I kind of hate bowling because I suck at it. But when I go with your father, I have a good time because I can just make fun of myself and just have a good time. Don't be that girl in PE who won't run or participate in sports because you are afraid. It's okay if you aren't the best, I just want you to try. It's okay if you like do to your nails, just don't be afraid to get them dirty. Be willing to try all different kinds of things.
11. You will fail. And that's okay. That doesn't mean you are a failure.
There will come a time when you don't succeed at something. You may, to be frank, fall (literally and/or figuratively) completely on your butt. Guess what? That's part of being human. Just remember to get back up. To never stop trying. If you make a mistake, which, you will, tell yourself you will do better next time and move on.
12. Try everything to be confident in the person you are.
You were given strengths. You were given weaknesses. You were given insecurities. Like I stated in the first paragraph, it's okay to have those things. What you need to do is recognize them and work them; strive to make yourself better.
13. Do not rely on boys to make you feel good about yourself.
I hope one day you find a man who loves you more than life itself. I hope that he can support, love and treat you well. I hope that you will fall in love and get married. However, I do not want your world to revolve around boys. I do not want you to gain your confidence if a boy likes/doesn't like you. In high school, there were many boys who didn't ask me to dances or date me because I did not give them certain things that they wanted. And it was hard at the time. But my pride and virtue was more important to me.
14. Chick flicks are the best.
Seriously. I will never not watch one with you. So, ya know, girls nights. Boo ya. Actually, well, just movies in general are the best.
15. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
No one likes to be around a debbie downer, or a girl who takes herself too seriously. Learn to laugh, joke, find joy int he little things. Life is about enjoyment. There are many hard things about life and there will definitely be difficult days, months even. But learning to laugh at yourself and with others will strengthen your relationships, make you so much happier, and much more confident. Plus, people who laugh are way more fun, don't you think?
I am proud of the person you are. You are so loved. I love you.