Sierra's View: Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

This post might make some of you angry. 
In fact, probably about 50% of the world's population.
But I have a bone to pick with a certain type of person: 
We love 'em. We hate 'em. We hate to love them, we love to hate them. 
I encountered a couple of experiences the otherthat I would like to explain in as minimal amount of detail possible. 
("Quick and Dirty" as the Ainge clan says. Okay well mostly just Lexie and I).
I was in the the computer lab on campus today and I saw a girl walking. She was a little heavyset, not the most attractive female out there (yes, I said it). She accidentally dropped all of her papers onto the sidewalk. I instinctively wanted to get up and help her, but by the time I would have reached her, she would have been done. But a guy, who was pretty good looking, was walking by. There weren't a ton of people around. He glanced up at this girl and then instantly looked down at his phone and continued texting. He stood there; right in the midst of her and just stared at his stupid cellular device. He refused to help her pick up her pieces of paper. She looked up at him, shook her head, and walked away. It made me sick to my stomach.
Moments later, as I was walking out the door a guy refused to open the door for me. I was behind him and he slammed the door right on me. Normally, I wouldn't have been bothered by this minuscule act, but after noticing the particular experience before hand, I was already a little irked.

I don't get it. Really, I do not get it.
I can't even tell you how many dates I have been on that my date does not open the door for me.
I can't even tell you how many instances I have seen a guy treat the girl he is dating with immense disrespect.
It just makes me sad.
These experiences have recently had me intrigued with the thought of "good guys."
I don't know if I have really high expectations (oh wait, that is part of the problem), but it's those little things that determine what kind of person that man is. Chivalry is not dead. 

My personal  idea of "Manliness" is defined very differently. Do not get me wrong, I am all about a man who takes care of himself physically. But I have been deciding what particular aspects truly make a man. 
And some of the main aspects are these: the divine roles of men. (D&C 121) 
They are to:
Preside: So often we think of presiding as being a dictator or the "ruler of the house" but that is not so. To Preside, means to just be a natural leader. To oversee that things are going okay.
Provide:  It is extremely important for a man to be willing to provide financially for his family. It is imperative that this aspect is a must in his every day life. 
Protect: I think this comes naturally to most males. In fact, this one may be a little overkill (no pun intended). Shall we move on?
And lastly, to be a Partner. Relationships (marriage)  is a partnership; the couple are EQUALS. The male is not the only one in control. Nor should he believe he is. My parents did a very good job at this growing up. I never felt as though my father ruled over my mother, or vice versa. I think they did a very good job of making decisions together and being equals. 

And that is all I have to say about this topic. For now.

P.S. "The greatest thing a man can do for his children is love their mother."

Forgive the pessimistic, cynical connotation to this post. Feminist Sierra has decided to kick in. And I may or may not be a little over dramatic with the title. I know there are so many quality guys out there. The severe negative minority tend to outweigh the positive ones. 


  1. Sierra, I think you make some good points. I don't think it was too negative, just trying to make the guys reach up to the level that they should be.

  2. I find plenty of good guys...the problem is they don't want to date me :)

  3. That reminds me of a date I was on the other week. He came and picked me up and didn't open my car door for me. We went to dinner and afterward we got to his car and he was like, "Let me get that for you, since you're a lady." I wanted to reply, "Oh, really? So, I wasn't lady when you picked me up and now all of the sudden I am? Interesting."
    Apparently dinner has a magical quality that transforms girls into ladies.


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