Sierra's View: Idealize.

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Thursday, July 7, 2011


I recently asked my sister, Mckenna, why I often feel irritable or frustrated towards other people. I have a big heart, but I find I am constantly just getting flustered by others around me. Maybe that's exactly why. I feel so deeply, I love so fully, and I give everything. So when others don't reciprocate it, and most times they don't, I feel a lack of connection.
She explained and helped me realize that I idealize everything, particularly my relationships. Which, unfortunately, leaves me disappointed with how things are going because nothing in reality ever correlates with my imagination. I value my relationships more than anything, so I give a lot. But that also means that I expect a lot. Others are not wired that way, particularly men. Sometimes I feel alone when I'm sitting in a big crowd, perhaps even a "follower" because I am "getting left out." But in reality, it's simply that most people (especially college students) don't include people or are as aware as I tend to be--or my natural wiring leads me to act. That is not their fault, but perhaps mine for reacting a certain way. Just because I treat people one way, doesn't mean that others do the same. My life is governed by emotion (negative and positive), so I am more sensitive and complicated emotionally, which is ESPECIALLY difficult for others to understand. We are all wired so different. So, to be fair to myself (and others?) I made of list of things that I try my hardest to live by--things that make it okay when I'm down. Things that are important in my life. You may disagree. You may agree. But you know what? That's the beauty of all us: our lists all contrast so much, and none of them are particularly perfect.

1. Never stop dreaming. Never stop analyzing. In the car, in your bed, at church. The ability to be able to know yourself, to truly know yourself, is a gift.

2. Stare into space blankly and don’t mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second. If you have a problem with staring blankly, think of it as daydreaming.

3. A cold soda sometimes tastes SO good. It won't kill you to have it every once in a while, particularly a Dr. Pepper. Those who never drink soda only miss out on the sweetness of a little rebellion.

4. Everything is going to be just fine. Even when you feel like it isn't. Tomorrow is gonna be alright. Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

5. Don’t be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn’t be afraid of reality. Be in the moment. If you are going to be there, be 100% there.

6. Everyone is a hypocrite. That doesn't mean that they are bad people.

7. Every time we see a picture of ourselves, we immediately think about how it would make everyone we know feel if they saw it in a slideshow at our funerals. (I save voice mails from all of the people I love dearly, in case I need to hear their voice on a down day.)

8. Do pointless things. Don’t actively restrain or hide yourself from the redundant.

9. Stop rushing. Shut up and embrace the sound of silence. I am quiet often. (Shocking, I know.) Make time to be still. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

10. Religion shouldn't be forced, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except you.

11. You are loved. Simple as that. Follow your heart.

12. In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer- Albert Camus

13. Talking to yourself is healthy. Is there anyone that you have more in common with?

14. Ever since I started studying psychology, my friends have turned into experiments. Good experiments, though.

15. The way to get what you want is to be grateful for what you have.

16. I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.

17. Every now and then take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its existence.

18. Be happy, but don’t force it. Be more. Happiness is when what you say, what you think and what you do is all in harmony.

19. Life is too short to listen to bad music. Music describes what words can't. It is the best healer. Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore.

20. We are all crazy. Every person you read about in the history books had some kind of ‘disorder’, they just knew how to use it.

21. We are all about as similar as we are different. We all want to love and be loved, simple as that.

22. Ideas are important. Be creative.

23. It's sweet when someone remembers every little detail about you. Not because you keep reminding them but because they pay attention. listen. truly listen to others.

24. Words will always be just words. Love is just another four letter word, only the feeling is real.

25. Ask a child for advice. They may not know much, but they know what is important.

26. Prove you’re alive. This is your world. Shape it or someone else will. Remind the world who you are.

27. stop being unhappy with yourself. you are perfect. stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you, stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you, and why would you want to be somebody else? Be confident with who you are. smile. it'll draw people in. if anyone hates on you because you are happy, the stick up your middle finger if your heart desires. our happiness does not depend on others. This is who you are no. nobody said they had to like it. Never sacrifice yourself because somebody has a problem with it.

28. When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story- How I Met Your Mother

29. Life will continuously teach us lessons that we have no desire to learn. Shut up and learn.

30. never give up on anybody. miracles happen every day.

31. Apologizing: does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right. it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.

32. Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

33. Sometimes your patience runs out, and you will punch someone in the face. very hard. and you know what? oh well. Sometimes keeping calm is overrated.

34. Being alone doesn't mean that you have be lonely.

35. I've learned adventure is the best way to learn.

36. Girls, stop trying to convince yourself that a guy likes you. IF HE LIKES YOU, HE WILL PURSUE YOU. It's that simple. Why do we (I) try twist my mind into giving him excuses? Here's the brutal reality: it sucks when you like a man and the feeling is not returned. It sucks. And every girl can attest to that.

37. Be Kind. Speak kind words. They can be easy. But their affect can be forever. Be kind because you never know who is fighting a harder battle.

38. Never grow up. Only learn how to act in public.

39. Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

40. Write. It is the best therapy in the world. "I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still."

41.Stop talking about it and start doing it (I DEFINITELY need to work on this)

42. Daisies make everything okay. Flowers put a smile on your face. Do they not?

43. " We have been created for greater things, not to just be a number in the world, not to just go for diplomas and degrees, this work and that work. We have been created in order to love and be loved." Mother Theresa

44. If you can get a good nights rest, you can cope with any problem. Waking up in the morning after a wonderful good nights rest helps you realize things.

45. Recently everything I've learned is from the Kenyans: be simple, be nonjudgmental, see the best in every body. They taught me the real reason why I want to be teacher.

46. Do things that make your heart beat faster. You only live once. Leave room for surprises in your plans.

47. Go after your problems. You'll feel better. Realize them. Accept them. Fix them.

48. I wish people could know that others admire them from afar.

49. When i was five years old, my mom told me happiness was the key to life. When i went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I wrote down "happy." They told me that I didn't understand the assignment. I told them that they didn't understand life.

50. When I give you my time, I am giving you a portion of my life that I will never get back. So use it well.

51. It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

52. There are billions of people running around in this world. Some are lost. Some are evil. Some are kind. So many souls...and sometimes all you need is one.

53. My cabin and the beach keeps me from hating humanity year after year.

54. You gain strength, confidence, and character by every experience in which you truly stop and look at in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have survived this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing that you think you cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt

55. There are some questions that cannot be answered by Google.

56. Pretend you a mermaid when you are swimming. It helps. Really.

57. Discuss ideas, not people.

58. Your choices at the moment will be good ones. Trust yourself. Trust life.

59. "I don't know where I am going, but I promise it won't be boring."

60. Be big hearted. Improve something. Everyone has a different story they are dealing with. Be patient with them.

61. Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

62. Flowers. lace. colors. Animals.

63. Wanderlust: A desire to travel, to understand one's very own existence. Go somewhere at least once a year that you have never been before.

64. Cry. Just do it. Don't keep it in.

65. Draw a line. Live above it.

66. Much (if not all) of the world's drama is caused by impatience. Impatient people run on assumptions. Taking the time to understand someone is righteous.

67. The expected is what keeps us steady. It's the unexpected that changes our lives forever.

68. Mistakes of the past don't define you, they refine you.

69. You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, its always their actions you should judge them by. Its actions, not words, that matter.

70. The saddest people I've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all.

71. Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain.

72. "I do the very best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the very end." Abraham Lincoln

73. God doesn't give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need to help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you; to make you the person you were meant to be.

74. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

75. How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.

76. I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade" (The Holiday)

77. Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it.

78. The gospel. Music. Friends. Family. Education. What else do you need?

What do YOU think?


  1. I needed to hear #27 - and #30. You are so much more wise than I was at your age :)

  2. I think that I need to be a bit like Sierra when I grow up.

  3. Very perceptive my friend. As I read the first part, I found it funny almost how much that reminds me of myself, particularly about being wired to give 100 percent and expect the same amount back. Its a hard place to be because so few truely give that much back. Its unfortunate, but true. By giving so much and not having it reciprocated, we're left feeling empty, tired and alone. However, if we look past that and continue to love and give all of ourselves, the Lord fills us
    with exactly what it is we're expecting and wanting from others. Thank you for such an insightful post.


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